


A Die (Hard) Dilemma

by FallacyFallacy



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Canon Relationships, Gen, Humor, Jake Peralta has ADHD, Neurodiversity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 08:18:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11376252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallacyFallacy/pseuds/FallacyFallacy
Summary: “It's kiiind of a long story,” Gina drawls, eyes fixated on the rose gold and Barbie pink star-shaped template she is currently applying to her nails. “Some guy accused Jake of having ADHD yesterday and everyone's sort of losing their minds over it?”





	A Die (Hard) Dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by and based on [adhdhighdefinition's post about ADHD Jake Peralta over here!](http://adhighdefinition.tumblr.com/post/162278039816/can-you-explain-why-you-think-jake-peralta-has) (Which I had somehow _never considered_ before reading this post and for the life of my I have no idea why!)

“So.” Jake sits down, glances briefly at the suspect currently handcuffed to his desk, and then glances at him again. “Public urination. Seriously? Aren't you a little old for that?”

The man glares at Jake from beneath impressively gray, bushy eyebrows. “Aren't you a little dumb to be a cop?”

“I mean, points for response time,” Jake murmurs, glancing over the file, “but you're really not helping your case here, dude.”

It's pretty open and shut – you'd really think that people would know better than to commit public crimes literally across the street from a police station, but Jake has long since learned that most criminals just don't really think stuff through – so he skims the info quickly, clicking his tongue absently.

“Stop that.”

Jake frowns. “Stop what?”

“The clicking!” eyebrow man insists, eyes darker than ever. “It's annoying.”

“...okay, whatever.” Jake returns to his file, thumb sub-consciously smoothing over the end of his pen. And then clicking it.

“You're doing it again!” the man explodes.

“What?”

“Do you have ADHD or something, dude? You literally could not be more annoying.”

“All right,” Jake interrupts, eye twitching. “No, I do not... have that, I'm just – full of energy. Energy for busting criminals.”

“Can I get another cop?” the man yells out to the room, and to Jake's horror, the other officers turn to look in his direction. “Someone other than ADHD kid here?”

“That's it – Rosa?” It's a welcome relief when the woman only now raises her head, eyes stony as ever. “Got one for you.”

“ _Thank_ you,” says eyebrow guy, with more of an attitude than Jake would normally bear, but the way Rosa jerks her head and murmurs “my pleasure” as she drags him off makes it all worth it.

_Great_ , Jake thinks. _Glad_ that _got sorted._

“...huh,” Amy says.

_Don't answer that. Don't answer it. Don't don't don't-_

“Huh _what?_ ” he asks.

Amy is frowning. Boyle is also frowning. So is Terry.

Jake's stomach sinks.

“ _What? _”__

__“ADHD...” Amy murmurs._ _

__“Come to think of it,” Terry says, staring at Jake with worryingly piercing eyes, “my niece got diagnosed with that a few years ago. And I can see a _lot_ of similarities right here.”_ _

__Jake sighs, resisting the urge to crush the pen in his grip. “Guys, stop that.”_ _

__“No, no, it makes sense, doesn't it?” Boyle asks, looking back and forth between Amy and Terry._ _

__“Yeah – I was reading up on it a bit not too long ago, and the overall description seems really...” Amy says._ _

__“Seriously,” Terry mumbles, “the resemblance is _uncanny._ ”_ _

__“Guys!” Jake says; it comes out more of a yell, somehow? When the others stare at him in surprise, he clears his throat. “Why are we talking about this? It was just some dumb joke by a known, hardened criminal.”_ _

__“Wasn't he in for public urination?” Amy asks._ _

__“Whatever, the point is: he's not making the right decisions in his life, so how could he be trusted on this as well?”_ _

__“I dunno Jake,” Terry says, and now he's giving Jake the sympathetic eye, so Jake is _this_ close to running. “You gotta admit it's plausible.”_ _

__“Nothing is 'plausible' – he was just tryin'a get a rise out of me! No, I'm not listening to this anymore – unlike the rest of you guys, apparently, I have actual _work_ to do right now.”_ _

__He doesn't, actually – eyebrow dude was his one assignment – but the others really must, because nobody bothers him again during the hour-long minesweeper streak that follows._ _

__*_ _

__The rest of the day passes by just like any other – which is pretty freaking well actually; his life rocks! – so Jake's almost forgotten about the whole incident by the time Amy drops a giant pile of books onto his desk the next morning._ _

__“And good morning to you.”_ _

__Amy flops down onto the chair beside him. “Sorry I left early, I wanted to go check out some bookstores before work.”_ _

__“So that's why you got up! I was so sure you were making pancakes.”_ _

__Amy's eyes widen and she immediately puffs up, a proud smirk crossing her lips. “You think _I_ ,” she says, hand to her chest, “could make _pancakes?_ ”_ _

__“Well, yeah, I mean there's only like three ingredients, right? Even you couldn't – actually never mind, I'm not sure why I thought that.”_ _

__Amy frowns but shrugs, sensibly, and Jake is just about to reassure her that her abominable cooking skills in no way harm her position as literally the greatest girlfriend of all time when he finally catches the title of the top book._ _

__“ADHD and Me? Seriously?” A moment after saying it he regrets his volume and settles for glaring silently at Amy instead._ _

__“Yeah.” Amy frowns down at the pile. “I was only gonna get two or three – good sample of the subject area, y'know – but even after just reading the DSM criteria I really felt like we needed these. You should definitely take a look.”_ _

__“C'mon, Amy,” Jake scoffs, “you know I don't _read._ ”_ _

__Amy's eyes fly to his and she gasps with a theatricality that Jake really thinks isn't warranted. “Avoidance of tasks which may require sustained attention...!” she whispers._ _

__Jake grabs the top book roughly. “Fine, I'll read your stupid book.” He opens to a random page and squints, skimming for a short paragraph. “Blah blah blah, irritability and mood swings... yeah I'm bored, this book is useless and I hate it.” He drops it._ _

__“Jake, I'm serious – you don't have to read them all, even just taking a glance at one could really-”_ _

__“I'm not gonna, because there's no need to!” He leans back on his chair, giving her his most serious face. “I don't have whatever you're so convinced I have so there's no point. End of story. End-” he insists, as Amy opens her mouth again, “of story.”_ _

__Amy sighs, but a moment later, thankfully, picks up her books again. “Fine. But _I_ will, at least.”_ _

__“You...do that,” Jake retorts. It's not his finest come-back._ _

__As Jake returns to his computer he rolls his eyes. What was with all that small print in those books, anyway? Weren't they written for people who can't read that kinda stuff well?_ _

__Not that that applies to him, he thinks with a grunt._ _

__*_ _

__It's a pretty boring day, with nothing to greet Jake by 10 o'clock but more boring paperwork for a recently-solved case that wasn't even that interesting while there was a criminal out there still waiting to be caught instead of just 'safely behind bars'. Not that he _wants_ there to be criminals running around everywhere – it's just that his physiology is centered around being a cool cop who runs down bad guys and spouts cool one-liners, and when he can't do that, he kind of wants to jump out of his own skin? Or whatever._ _

__Anyway, it's really mega boring, so Jake calls in the big guns, and draws on the one subject that never gets old no matter how many times he thinks about it: Die Hard._ _

__Today, he settles on thinking about how, since Die Hard is set on Christmas Eve, it's actually technically a Christmas movie, and totally smokes every other lame Christmas movie out there. From there, as usual, his thoughts naturally segue into daydreaming about John McClane saving the characters from every other famous Christmas movie from being taken as hostage by evil German villains, complete with all-new stunts._ _

__“Hey, Jake, are you busy?”_ _

__“Stop dawdling, Charlie Brown – I mean what?”_ _

__Terry kind of squints at him, but Jake flashes his most innocent smile, and he doesn't comment._ _

__“Just wondering if you had a moment to spare? I read about something cool last night and wanted to try it out with you.”_ _

__Jake considers this – he's a little reluctant to end the daydream here honestly, as he's just gotten to the part where it tends to get really good, but he's also pretty curious about this._ _

__“Yeah, sure – just some paperwork. What'cha got?”_ _

__They end up in the records room, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from one another._ _

__“It's called mindfulness,” Terry explains with a familiar pleased smile. “It's all the rage lately when it comes to stress release – pretty important for our line of work, naturally.”_ _

__“Cool, cool. What've we got to do?”_ _

__“It's sorta like meditation! Except instead of transcending the body and achieving a higher spiritual state, it's all about becoming aware of the body and what's goin' on around it and inside of it.”_ _

__Jake blinks. “...I don't think I understand either of those things, but uhh, sure?”_ _

__“Don't worry – I'll lead. Just close your eyes right now.”_ _

__Jake obeys with a shrug. He tried meditation one time for like thirty seconds and while he feels like he really gave it a go already, it's Terry, so he can try it again for him._ _

__“Breathe in and out, counting ten seconds in and seven seconds out... One...two...three-”_ _

__“Is this just gonna be you counting for ten minutes?”_ _

__He only realises when Terry glares at him that he's opened his eyes._ _

__“Sorry – eyes closed. Gotcha.”_ _

__“...anyway.” He hears Terry breathe in and out. “Let's try another tack. We're gonna try and focus our awareness on our bodies, going through them piece by piece. First off, the toes. Try and be aware of your toes – feel them there, feel what they feel.”_ _

__What they feel is, apparently, weird as hell. Instantaneously Jake feels his body disappear in a poof, leaving only his toes – and even they don't really feel real anymore, all of a sudden. He can feel where they connect with each other, and his socks – is he wearing socks? - but there's not substance to them, just a line of connection – maybe his toes are on the other side, actually, or are everywhere except in his shoes._ _

__“Now, the soles of the feet-”_ _

__“Whoa, this is really weird – is this meant to be happening? Is this what people mean by spiritual experiences or whatever?”_ _

__“Jake!” Terry is glaring at him again. “Can you concentrate for five minutes?! I'm tryn'a help you here!”_ _

__“You're – wait.” Jake frowns. “Help _me_ here? I thought you heard about something new and wanted to try it out?”_ _

__Terry sighs, but he avoids Jake's eyes, so he must be right. “Jake-”_ _

__“This is that – that thing Amy was talking about earlier as well!”_ _

__“ADHD?”_ _

__“Y-yeah! That!” He glares. “Are you guys talking behind my back or something?!”_ _

__“We may have... discussed things, briefly. After work,” Terry admits._ _

__“Well that's just great!” Jake slaps his hands on his thighs and pushes himself up from the floor. “I thought that one of my friends actually wanted to hang out and spend some time with me, but nope – just wanted to try and convince me I have some weird disorder!”_ _

__“Hey, look -” Terry looks guilty, which he should, so Jake only feels slightly uncomfortable for having caused it. “I'm – sorry for deceiving you. But I wasn't lying that much – I really did wanna try it out. I just... happened to maybe read up last night that mindfulness can be really helpful for people with ADHD.”_ _

___Stop saying it_ , Jake thinks, but doesn't say._ _

__“Which you _should_ consider,” Terry says. “Which I am saying as a friend.”_ _

__“And as a friend, I'm telling you to lay off the subject, 'cause it's never happening,” Jake says, before storming out of the room in a huff._ _

__*_ _

__“I tell ya, Boyle,” Jake says with a sigh as he practically falls into his friend's couch, “I really needed this today.”_ _

__“Aww, you wanna talk about it?” Boyle asks, delicately setting down a bowl of cucumber chips._ _

__“Noope, not at all. Just happy to lose myself in the greatest of all pasttimes: a movie marathon. So, what's the plan?”_ _

__“Well!” Boyle sits down happily, sharing a wide smile. “If I asked you the question: 'what is the greatest movie in-'”_ _

__“Die Hard!” In an instant Jake feels perked up and ready to fight._ _

__“Of course!” Boyle agrees. “'Cause you're, like, a _giant_ fan of Die Hard, right?”_ _

__“Biggest one I know!”_ _

__“You know everything about it, think about it all the time-”_ _

__“Boyle,” Jake says, reasonably, “am I ever really _not_ thinking about Die Hard?”_ _

__Boyle beams. Jake beams back. It's nice._ _

__“Sooo,” Boyle continues, tilting his head knowingly, “would you say that you exhibit an intense interest and ability to maintain extreme sustained attention on it that could be described as a hyperfixation?”_ _

__“I-what?” Jake stares. “Oh my god. You, too!” As suddenly as it arrived, his good feeling is gone, and he falls back into the couch again with a glare. “I can't believe it. My own best friend-”_ _

__“It doesn't have to be a bad thing, Jake!” Boyle explodes. “In fact, there are a lot of really great things about ADHD-”_ _

__“Oh yeah, being told by a doctor that you have some kind of disorder like a little kid – bet people are just lining up for that.”_ _

__“But it explains why you're such a great detective!” Boyle is clasping his hands before him almost desperately. “Out of the box thinking, great leaps of imagination and creativity – that's all you!”_ _

__“I'm such a great detective because I'm _just naturally that awesome_ ,” Jake retorts. “I thought you _understood_ that.”_ _

__“I do, Jake, I'm just trying to-”_ _

__“Well, stop it. Now if you excuse me, I have no further desire to speak with a friend who has so betrayed me.” Jake stands up and gets three steps towards the door before he pauses._ _

__“...though,” he regains, “I suppose I could be...convinced to change my mind - if you were serious about that marathon, that is...”_ _

__Boyle grins in relief and gestures outwards. “And I'll listen to every interruption you have to make about how great it is.”_ _

__Okay, so this whole day has been rent by backstabbing and betrayal, but as Jake shoves potato chips (brought from home) into his mouth and calls out the canonical names of all of the silent supporting characters, he can say with full honesty that Die Hard makes everything better._ _

__*_ _

__Amy doesn't say anything the next morning – just kisses him and smooths out his shirt like usual and flashes him that adorable/sexy little smile he so loves, and maybe he really is a sap deep down, but that alone is enough to make him willing to forget about how weird and pushy everyone's been._ _

__Until they get to work and he notices Amy nod surreptitiously at Terry and Boyle and, okay, that's the last straw._ _

__“No, no no no -” he yells at the advancing forms of his former friends. “No, we are not doing this again today! No way!”_ _

__“We just wanted to talk to you one more time,” Boyle pleads, but Jake shakes his head roughly._ _

__“No, you all had your chance, and you blew it, that's it, game over.”_ _

__“Can we say just one thing?” Terry asks, impatient._ _

__“No, because this whole thing is stupid – it was stupid to begin with, and it's even stupider that you guys aren't letting it go! There is nothing wrong with me!”_ _

__“Ugh.” An unexpected snort comes from the sidelines, and he sees as Rosa drops a bag onto her desk, looking even more irritable than usual. “I can't believe you guys are still arguing about this. You shouldn't let some dumb label rule your whole life.”_ _

__“Exactly!” Jake throws out his arms, grateful beyond words that finally, someone understands._ _

__But all of a sudden, Rosa is staring at _him_. “Which means you also shouldn't run away from it like a baby, especially when it could actually help you.”_ _

__She turns back to her bag and begins unpacking gracelessly. The rustles and thumps don't drown out the silence hanging over the middle of the room._ _

__“...I'm sorry, Jake,” Amy says quietly, “we're obviously making you uncomfortable-”_ _

__“What do you guys want from me?” he asks, tonelessly._ _

__Amy breathes in and out; Terry and Boyle share a look. But after a moment, Amy responds: “If you didn't mind, we think... it would be a good idea to go to someone who could give their professional opinion. Just one meeting, and we'd all chip in – and then if it's a yes, then that's some really useful information we could work with! And if not... then, we'll know that as well.”_ _

__“Fine,” he says shortly. “Figure something out and tell me the time and place.”_ _

__Amy moves close to him and takes his hands. “I really am sorry for how this has all gone. This doesn't have to be a bad thing! You know we love you no matter what, right?”_ _

__And, it's dumb, because that was pretty obvious? But from the way Jake suddenly kind of wants to cry, apparently he somehow still didn't get the message?_ _

__He coughs. “Cool, cool. Time and place. So, uh, police work. Because we are... at work, and are police.”_ _

__Amy releases his hands with a final smile, and Terry and Boyle both nod at him, and when he glances her way Rosa sort of nudges her head towards him, so Jake finally gives in._ _

__*_ _

__“What was with all that excitement a moment ago?” Holt asks with a frown._ _

__“It's kiiind of a long story,” Gina drawls, eyes fixated on the rose gold and Barbie pink star-shaped template she is currently applying to her nails. “Some guy accused Jake of having ADHD yesterday and everyone's sort of losing their minds over it?”_ _

__Holt nods slowly. “I am,” he says, thoughtfully, “not surprised.”_ _

__“Right? But it seems like it's all resolved now – they all got together and smooched and made up and now it's all hunky-dory.”_ _

__“That's good to hear.” But, his expression darkens. “Now, on to more pressing matters: Kevin still has no idea about the 16th century Venusian vase?”_ _

__“Oh, Captain,” Gina says, giving her pinky one last glance-over before meeting Holt's eyes intently, “I have been on it like Kanye on Kim.”_ _

__*_ _

__On the day, he walks back into the office slowly, not failing to notice the way Amy, Terry, and Boyle immediately turn in his direction while also not trying to seem too intense._ _

__“Soooo?” Amy asks, apparently under the impression that drawing out vowels is a killer strategy for seeming cool and collected._ _

__Jake raises his eyebrows and shrugs. “Welp, you were right.”_ _

__The three of them all let out visible sighs – but if Jake had still been half-expecting some kind of massive hostile response, he doesn't get it._ _

__“So what did she say?” Amy asks._ _

__“I dunno, I didn't get a lot of the details. Combination type or something, but she didn't seem to think it was necessary to keep seeing her or anything. Just gave me a bunch of info and resources.”_ _

__“And how do you feel?” Terry asks as he approached Jake, somehow actually managing to make it sound like a legitimate question and not some annoying parody of a therapist._ _

__Jake shrugs again, casting his eyes around the room. He's been wondering about that the whole way here. “Honestly? I'm...not really sure. It's...kind of strange? But, uh, I guess I owe you guys an apology for being so weird about it there.”_ _

__“Hey, we don't need that!” Boyle replies immediately._ _

__“Yeah – we were totally over the line,” Terry agrees. “Bringing it up once was enough. The way we kept pushing it was seriously not cool.”_ _

__“Yeah, well.” He coughs, still a little nervous. “At least I can kinda explain a bit about it now. See, the thing is... this isn't the first time someone's suggests that I, uh, had ADHD.”_ _

__He looks up at his friends, expectantly. No response._ _

__After a moment, Boyle gasps loudly. “O-oh, oh my GOD-”_ _

__“Nup – too much, too late.”_ _

__“I'm sorry, I felt bad for missing your cue and tried to make it up-”_ _

__“Anyway – the point is, a couple of my teachers suggested it back when I was a kid, too. But, well, my dad always just said there was nothing to worry about, that I'd just grow out of it. No need to actually, like, do anything about it, or help me or anything...” He snorts but tries to bring himself back on topic. “So, I guess I kinda started to think about it that way, too. And when I grow up, and actually got to become a cop like I always wanted, I really felt like I _had_ gotten over it, you know? And I was...proud of that, I guess.”_ _

__“But you should be proud! You've done so much amazing stuff since then,” Terry says._ _

__“Yeah – also, other thing: when I don't think that I'm the most awesome cop in the world, it kinda feels like I'm dying?” he suggests._ _

__“That's the rejection-sensitive dysphoria!” Amy says, and then clarifies: “RSD. Means you take things hard.”_ _

__“Yeah. So, I kinda overreacted when I thought you guys were thinking less of me... but, I get it now.” He breathes in, deeply. “I'm... actually really grateful to have friends like you guys, who worked so hard to help me out.”_ _

__The others beam, and Jake bathes in that warm glow for just a second._ _

__“And!” He rummages for the cube in his pocket. “She also gave me this cool clicky thing!” He immediately demonstrates by clicking it as fast as he can for a few seconds._ _

__“Okay, yeah, we can talk about that,” Amy mumbles as she pushes him with her hand on his shoulder towards his desk._ _

__(But when they sit down again she smiles at him and mouths 'I love you.' Even as he keeps clicking.)_ _


End file.
